Hit The Road Jack


6600 km from my front door in Halifax to my front door in Victoria. If you haven’t gathered, tonight’s post is going to actually be about the trip from one coast to the other, and I promise not to deviate from the plan lol ūüėČ Mama told me she’s digging the blog but it needs more pictures, and what better opportunity to upload tons from my trek? Some you’ll have seen on my FaceBook or Instagram, and some I didn’t post because there were just so many pictures to take, and too many hours to drive.

The beginning of the process was a complete nightmare. I originally planned to tow¬†a U-Haul trailer with my 15 boxes of goodies, it seemed to be the cheapest and safest way for my belongings. I spent months purging my closet, giving away over half of what I owned. I went from having the full run of Ma’s basement (about 800 sq ft for my room, bathroom and living room/rec area) to sharing less than the same amount of space, but including kitchen and dining room and spare room. Basically I had a minor panic attack when I came to see the condo before moving in. It’s got gorgeous 9′ ceilings for each bedroom and the main living room/dining area, which are exposed concrete. Massive windows in that area, floor to ceiling windows in the corner of the master, and a decent sized window in the spare. Lots of natural light, super modern looking condo inside and out, but WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO PUT MY CLOTHES??? Literally didn’t know if I was going to need a storage unit just for my out of season attire. But interior design runs in my blood so I managed to make it all work. I’ll post an overview of the space and modifications I’ve made since moving in at another time for my fellow OCD sufferers.

So after finally deciding what was making the cut, what was being given away, what was staying at Ma’s and what was going to the curb on Friday, I went and got my hitch installed. That was a nightmare from the get, cost 4x what they quoted because whoever did my booking on the phone left out a bunch of stuff. Ma picked me up, we went to lunch, I picked up my car and headed home. Worst drive speaking of which, My car has a towing capacity of 2000 lbs which is pretty legit, until you put the trailer on and it uses up over half that. Add on another 800 lbs for the boxes and you have a Civic that is just asking to drop its tranny somewhere on the Trans Canada Highway. So I brought it back, scoured my emails for the companies who previously sent me quotes for moving, and went with the best option. They wound up only having one day they could pick up my boxes, which happened to be the day I was attending my childhood best friend’s wedding, so I missed the ceremony to wait for the truck. I can make it to the dinner and reception just in time though¬†I thought. So I sat outside and waited for 2.5 hours over their estimated time in the sun, makeup dripping off my face, just feeling like a hot ghetto mess. They finally contacted me to say the guy was running late. So I wound up waiting til the evening for the pick up, could have made it to the ceremony and still had time to run home and have my boxes ready to rock. I should have known from that moment on that nothing I planned for the move was going to actually come to fruition.¬†img_8671

Monday morning rolled around, and I woke up on time. Snuggled my puppy before I had to leave. Woke Ma up to say goodbye, and left with the stuff I didn’t trust with a moving company jammed into the backseat of the car. It was a much smoother drive without the trailer by the way lol, there were several times on our travels Brit and I were both relieved to have ditched it. I picked up Brit from Truro and we hit the road. We made it through to Quebec in wicked time, and decided we wanted to stop in Montreal for some legendary poutine and smoked meat sammies. Her dad had mentioned the best place for the sandwiches, so after we finally found our way to the shop, were appalled to see a line that stretched well out the door and down the block. We were starving and ambitious, aiming to see how far we could make it each day before we needed to stop for the night, so we opted for finding a good poutinery instead. No line up at Pitati Pitata –¬†suggested by a local, the food smelled great and it was a¬†super cute hole in the wall vibe. Except their order sheets were in french and we¬†never learned how to order pickles, lettuce and onions on a burger en fran√ßais so there was a slight moment of incomprehension on both ends. The burgers were small, but filling. The poutine started off okay, until I could hear each piece of cheese curd squeaking louder than the music we had on for this first-of-many-car-picnics. Brit and I spent probably 5 solid minutes chewing with our mouths open at each other and roaring at the fact that we could borderline carry a tune with cheese on our molars. I got hella turned off after that, it reminded me of the feeling of fingernails on a chalkboard. I don’t mind the sound, but that awful feeling makes me cringe. We left downtown Montreal to see how far into Ontario we could get before midnight. We got horribly lost, detours were EVERFUCKINGWHERE, google maps couldn’t keep up with the construction and I can honestly say that most sentences were just strings of incoherent profanity. We made it to Cornwall in Ontario that night.

We tried to find a decent hotel to spend night one in, but everything besides a smoking room at the Super 8 was booked. Both being smokers, we weren’t the least bit troubled by this, so we checked in and got ready for bed. We were both falling asleep around 2 when the tv turned itself on out of nowhere onto a freaky murder mystery channel. I thought Brit was fucking with me, she thought I was fucking with her, until we both saw the remote sitting on the bedside table between us left where she had propped it when we turned off the tv to hit the hay. After 17.5 hours of driving basically non stop, and 20 hours of being awake, we were both super sketched out. I made her check under my bed as I pulled up the bedskirt and did the same for her bed LOL, had to check in the tv stand to make sure there wasn’t some weirdo lurking, and checked the creepy ass closet with the cracked mirror doors cause ya just never know, okay?! (We checked under all the beds and in the closets and corners in the motels we stayed in after that hahaha) We turned the tv off, I smoked probably another 3 cigs before my heart rate returned to normal, and got some blessed sleep. Super 8 will forever be referred to as “Sketchy 8” by us now, it was ridiculous and hilarious and a perfect start to our adventures to follow.

We didn’t make it out of Onterrible for another 2.5 days. When people say “Ontario is huge, it’s going to take forever, go north” they aren’t exaggerating. We went south assuming it was all the same, google maps and my car navi didn’t show a significant difference in times for any of the 3 possible routes so we decided to tour along Lake Superior. It. Was. Brutal. I’m talking smoking two 2.5 packs of cigs a day through their awful little towns and construction zones and 70 km/hr speed limits and no street lights or gas stations or civilization for that matter for hours on end. It was super stressful for us both, and when we finally sat down and said “Fuck it, we’re already on this route so we may as well relax and try to enjoy what we can”, it was actually awesome. We went from hating that highway and dreading how long it was going to take to get over the provincial border, to enjoying the rural views and seeing wild boars and finally the beautiful lake that took so long to get to and around.¬†img_8731img_8726

Panos of Lake Superior, which was actually stunning so no regrets. A gorgeous cloudy sunset nearing the end of Ontario, and finally REACHING THE MANITOBA BORDER! We got out and danced and laughed and could have cried with relief seeing that sign lol, if I never make it back through Ontario again it’ll be too soon. We got into Regina that day, stopped for a real meal (we’d been living off of Costco jerky which is heavenly by the way, rice cakes, granola bars and PB&J’s) and decided we didn’t feel like driving any more that night. Stayed in a super cute hotel, got our room upgraded, watched TLC and relaxed and rode out that high from getting out of the largest and worst province in my opinion. Sorry if you live there or love it there. Come see me cause I prob won’t come see you ha ha ha… One of the funniest parts of that day’s drive was Brit making road PB&J’s through the prairies. I tried to explain how nasty and dry it can get, especially when you’re used to such humid and damp conditions like we get in Scotia. Anyway it’s one of those things that you have to experience to understand fully, and she was boggled over her sandwich getting dried out in minutes with the windows open. I’m a super fast eater so mine didn’t have a chance to get dry, Brit is much classier and feminine and just all around chill so she takes her time with her food. After a couple mins of taking a break from it, she tried to get back into ‘er and freaked cause it was crunchy like toast. It was hilarious and we both laughed and had tears streaming down our faces.We laughed like that for the majority of our cross country drive actually. We can go from laughing insanely about accidentally making toast in Saskatchewan, and moments later be in a deep and serious conversation about how hard it must be to work in the news and have to deliver horrible, shocking stories one moment and then be expected to put on a cheerful face the next for a happier, upbeat one. We’re both super empathetic so we know we wouldn’t have what it takes to master hiding or controlling our emotions to that degree, and that of course led into some other deep shit. And then we spent a night at a motel where we were using accents on the common balcony to cheer on the french crowd in the room next to us (JUST HIT HER WITH A SHOCKAAA¬†in Scottish sounding lilt instead of French hahaha), and attempted to move a planter closer to a guys bumper cause he parked redonkulously¬†far away from it, and we thought it would be hilarious to have him trip out in the am about how close it actually was after his attempt to keep 4 feet between them. The drive out of Saskatchewan and into Berta was amazing. So many wicked pics so here’s a couple of my favs.

Got into Calgary late on Friday night, so we stayed at another hella sketchy motel, and went to my grandparent’s annual Garden Party the following morning. My grandparents moved to Calgary in the 60’s (I think?) and have been throwing these Garden Parties for years and years. It’s been hard being in Halifax for so long because we miss so many family events. So any chance we get to see our Western familia we jump on. Ma, Quinn and I were all out for the party 5 years ago, Quinn and I were out for a visit but missed the party last summer, and now that I’m only a 12 hour drive away I imagine Geoff and I will do lots of trips to Calgary for family visits now. Gonna include a couple pics of the fam cause they’re precious and make my heart happy ūüôā They all love Brit too, she’s an honourary Edgington now.

UGH I JUST LOVE THEM ‚̧ How precious are my grandparents?! Flipping adorable (I don’t feel right swearing to emphasize my enjoyment of them cause they’re cute and proper and I don’t swear in front of them if I can help it. Same respect goes to Geoff’s family lol, I guess I do have a filter after all). The next day we went to visit Daddy and Uncle Malcolm’s trees, which were amazing and saddening and inspiring and I don’t want to talk about it right now cause the theme of this one isn’t sposed to be gloomy lol. I’ll do a separate tribute to Daddy and depression and survivors etc later on when I’ve got wine and maybe Geoff home to snuggle when it gets to me. Today is not that day so after the visit we went for dins with Uncle Doug and cousin Adrian, crashed at Adrian’s and hit the road towards Banff.

Alberta had some of the most spectacular views we saw along the TransCan, and I’m gonna be √ľber annoying and post some of my favs under this paragraph. There were surreal abandoned barns and houses and stores, fields of rolling wheat and canola, loads of farms, and then Banff National Park was in its own category of awe. I’d never been to Lake Louise, it was well worth the stop and anyone who hasn’t been should def give it a shot. I’ll let the pictures do the speaking.

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Shoulda added more pics if I’d known I coulda made a slideshow haha, I’m still figuring how to make this do stuff so bear with me s’il vous pla√ģt. I would love to go back and stay in Banff for a weekend, Aunt Rosemary and Uncle Gerry took Quinn and me there last summer when we visited. Mama and Daddy actually honeymooned there and if you’ve ever been you can totally see why.

Nothing on our drive compared to entering and going through Beautiful British Columbia though. We thought the mountains in Alberta were awesome, and then we got past Golden, BC. And totally missed the sign for the border which was disappointing because we’d gotten pics of all the others besides Quebec. The Quebec one crept up on us and we didn’t feel like turning around to get it. The drive to the Coquihalla was navigated through the mountains, and I mean points where you literally drive through the mountain. The views were incredible and we stopped more times along that last bit of the trip than anywhere else. Mountains are so ¬†humbling. You feel so small but so connected to something so old and immovable. I get to see mountains every day now and it never fails to stop my heart for a minute while I exhale gratitude. Do I sound like a hippy yet? I hear this is the place where they come to breed so I wonder if I’ll lose the Nova Scotian drawl and become a proper BC hippy. Doubtful but intriguing lol. I don’t do dreads, bicycles, walks, outdoor stuffs (yet), tie-dye, my car doesn’t have a “If you like animals don’t eat them” sticker. Swear to god I almost pissed myself laughing when I got stuck behind some woman with one the other day. I don’t mean to be crass or offend anyone who is vegetarian/vegan/whatevs. I applaud any and every eating style cause food is the shit, it just super caught me off guard. I was gonna go off on a rant about it but I’m too tired and wanna get all the travel stuffs and pics up before I log off.

The Coke was crazy, I’d never driven anywhere with a legal speed limit of 120 before (which I gotta say I love) and was getting passed by little old ladies in minivans flipping me the bird while I’m white knuckled around sharp curves just trying to fathom the fact that semis do that shit in the winter. They have fucking “runaway lanes” cause it’s such a steep and winding highway in so many spots and people just can’t always make it. Total adrenaline rush, I’m excited to drive it again now lol. Brit and I got sick of my music and the radio at this point so it was YouTube and karaoke for the last of the drive. I’m a make another slideshow for some of the highway pics cause that’s dope af. (Quinn I still speak like you periodically and I haven’t seen you in months)

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We’re nearing the end of the adventure now and I’m running out of steam. We stopped in Abbotsford, which is where they film Bates Motel. They weren’t filming when we went through but the security guard was solid so he took our phones and got us up close and personal shots of the motel all boarded up. Geoff and I are planning a road trip to Calgary soon and filming has begun again so guess who’s going groupie style for more proper pics ūüėČ Ferry ride over to Victoria was majestic when we actually made it to Tsawassen. I put the wrong ferry terminal into google maps and of course figured it out last minute, so we just made it on the last ferry at the right terminal. Wound up catching a phenomenal sunset because of the timing so everything worked out perfectly. I posted a pic of that sunset the other day, but I’m most likely gonna throw in a few more of it to this one cause I love it and cause I can. Suckas.

That bridge was in Vancouver, super cool and made for a wicked pic, thanks to my copilot Brit. I must have deleted more pics than I thought, I had one I loved of the ferry life ring that said “Victoria, BC” in front of the blood red sky. It’s on my Insta anyway if anyone cares to creep it lol. I still have loads of pics from the tour, but I think 3300 words is more than enough, and this is starting to be irritatingly long. Also I’m hungry which really means hangry so I’m getting antsy and irritable, I’m going to get food. And maybe wine, I had a wicked workout this morning and a super productive day so why not? Plus one glass helps me sleep, and my insomnia has been bothering me the last little while. All justifications, but fo reals I’d be getting a bottle even if I hadn’t gotten out of bed all day and was sleeping like a baby. Cause technically I’m an adult and there’s no excuse needed for an adult who wants a nice cold glass of Ros√©. I like Drake’s summer diet;¬†Ros√© and calamari. I’m gonna chuck “4 PM In Calabasas” on for the drive. Their liquor stores are open til 11 here and some are privatized, it’s actually so wicked. AND they sell cigs in the liquor stores here. And grocery stores. Shit is whack, I love this place. See why I’m never leaving? Time for me to hit the road Jack…

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