I can’t believe how inconsistent I’ve been with this blog, considering how happy I am when I write, and how it’s been one of my primary goals for the last several months. How fitting that my first blog of 2017 is my resolutions, so far I haven’t been following them very well LOL.
I posted a pic a week or so ago of the cards I make for my resolutions. For the last few years, every New Years Eve I write out my little goals on coloured cards, and then hide them away to be reviewed the following year before I write out new ones. I’m a very visual person, so when I took them out after our trip to Halifax for NYE and saw that I had only completed 3/13 for 2016, I was super disappointed and can attribute some of my failure to the fact that I haven’t been looking at them to keep them fresh. It’s hard to be reminded of things that are kept tucked away. So I took a pic, posted it, and now have my cards out for display on my computer table as a reminder of what I’m working towards. I’m gonna start this off with a picture of the cards as posted on my social media, and then state each one and kind of go over them.
Why yes, that is a glass of Barefoot Refresh, thank you for noticing 😉 Wine helps me think. I’m actually drinking a glass right now as I write. I decided to keep the cards that I hadn’t accomplished, as well as creating 3 new ones. I wrote the year on each of them, so I currently have 8 carrying over from ’16 and 3 for ’17. Let’s start with the goals from 2016.
I accomplished 3;
- Explore more of the world, starting with Canada
- Get my red seal finally
- Be less controlling and more willing to compromise
I accomplished the first one, because I drove across Canada to move to beautiful BC this summer. I still need to go to Newfoundland and the territories, but I do feel as though I got to see a lot of what Canada has to offer on the week long trip. I would never want to do that drive again, so in the future I’ll either road trip up to the territories, or fly to the provinces I missed or would like to explore more of. To be honest, I could spend a lot of years just exploring BC because it’s so big and beautiful and has such a diverse landscape. Geoff’s mama got us a Canadian park pass for 2017 when it was out as a promotion for Canada’s 150th birfday, so we are going to try and get to as many parks as we can in the west. Overall, I’m okay with this goal and feel I met it.
Next goal was get my red seal finally. After 2 attempts and wayyy too many flashcards, I did just that. It’s so nice to be able to put “journeyman” on my resume. ‘Nuff said about this one.
The 3rd I feel I accomplished was to be less controlling and more willing to compromise. Considering I’m in my first “adult relationship” -which I will do a full blog on at some point, or maybe even a vlog since I’ve been toying with that idea since I got my GoPro last Christmas- I feel as though I have most definitely learned to be less controlling, because there are now two personalities in one living space in close quarters, and I see myself spending my life with him so I of course needed to learn how to love him properly, and to adjust to having someone else to take into consideration. We’re both alpha personalities so it’s been a learning curve for us. But there are way more pros than cons to what we have, and he’s worth every bit of change I need to make to continue to grow and strengthen our love. He also doesn’t expect me to change who I am for what we are. That makes it so much easier to be okay with him leaving the toilet seat up, or making sauces a little differently than I do, or being the primary driver because we only have one parking space and it’s technically his. He’s also really good about my OCD habits, and having to make the bed before we leave the house, arranging the placemats just so, etc haha. It’s give and take, and you can’t survive a one-sided relationship for any amount of time on either side of the coin.
Now I’ll talk about the 2 which I feel I kind of met, but could continue to work on;
- Be more aware of spending and stop wasting money
- Get dive license and explore the coast, and hopefully the Caribbean
I was much more aware of spending money because I spent 8 months unemployed, and in that time moved across the country, made a house my home, and went to school. I could have spent less on the home stuff, but I believe that even if your living space is temporary, it shouldn’t feel that way. I though we would be living her for 2 years, joke’s on me cause it was sold as of Tuesday 😐 but regardless I made this place feel like home and it was worth every penny. And it helped him sell the condo for a nice little profit which is a source of pride to me. There was actually a bidding war on it, and the condo sold within 24 hours of listing. I do need to go back on my “jar” budget ASAP, but that’s also why I’ve decided to carry this forward to 2017. I want to pay off all my debts and have a good chunk of change to put down on a house before Geoff and I buy a place, and in order to make it reality I need to stick to a plan.
I did get my dive license and did a tiny bit of diving in Nanaimo, but I would like to actually go out and explore all over the island’s coasts, and when we ever do get a trip down south we will be going diving with sharks. WE ARE GOING TO DIVE WITH SHARKS GOD DAMN IT. That was the whole motivation behind getting the course.
The goals I didn’t reach;
- Make more time for art, get back to being creative
- Find healthy stress management tricks
- Eat less processed sugars (ice cream, cookies, cakes, pizza) and learn to enjoy them as treats
- Learn to find BALANCE
- Find 3 hobbies: one to make money, one to keep me in shape and one to be creative
- Wear makeup more often and feel prettier with what I have, less focusing on what I’m lacking
- Do another fitness comp, put 110% into it and stay consistent
- Stop focusing on making and keeping everyone else happy, and start looking out for #1
I definitely didn’t make more time for art. I’m going to lump my journalling, blogging, possible vlogging into that category and aim to do a little painting and clay work as well. I’m naturally drawn to creative endeavours so I’m going to keep spending a little time on the various avenues that interest me. Geoff is also down to try throwing, and I used to LOVE pottery so I’m excited to do that at some point.
I still don’t feel like I’ve mastered healthy stress management, because I’m so inconsistent with the ideas my psychologist gave me. I don’t knit consistently. I don’t practice yoga. I don’t write out all my thoughts in a journal, despite having a bajillion to do so. I’m gonna keep working on that cause the last year was SO stressful, and we all know stress is bad news bears.
Fuck eating less processed sugars. I think I’m vetoing this stupid resolution cause I love that shit. I (occasionally these days) go to the gym so I can eat what I want and maintain a balance. I’m not into punishing myself over things I love that maybe I shouldn’t depending on who you talk to. I’m going to make a new one to just keep making healthy choices for 80% of the time, be consistent with logging my foods and be consistent with workouts. Notice a theme in this post? Consistency. I got a wicked journal from Mike & Kirsten for Christmas, and it’s now my bullet journal, and one of my words for 2017 is “Consistency”. Maybe I’ll post a pic at some point of my words for the year.
Learn to find BALANCE (yes I wrote it in caps on my card haha, these are typed up as I wrote them so don’t judge…at least I left the stars and hearts and smileys out of this). I think this is going to be a continual resolution or goal, because as we grow and change and evolve, our meaning of balance and terms will change and grow and evolve with us. I guess right now I need to balance my books 🙂 but for reals, I think balance plays a part in everything so I’m gonna keep at that as I have been and as it comes.
Find 3 hobbies… I don’t have a hobby to make money yet, but I do have a plan in my head and will find a way to make it reality. The hobby to keep me in shape, I think I intended to finally sign up for boxing when I wrote this? I’ve wanted to go into boxing since I was 16 and typical to Caoimhin form, just never bothered to actually do it. Pisces are dreamers, and one of our poor qualities is our lack of gumption to follow through with plans we have dreamed. But we do have dreams, and that’s got to count for something. The hobby to be creative I think was kind of blogging. But I’m a slacker. So we’ll aim to be better about it this year.
I am so lazy when it comes to my appearance 97.3523% of the time, so I didn’t wear makeup more often. I am going to try to do that this year, because who doesn’t feel better when they feel they’re putting their best foot forward? I got rid of majority of my closet for the move so I actually do wear what I have and mostly feel pretty in it. Going to aim to wear more dresses this summer, and to keep up my workout routine so I can feel confident in doing so. Strong is sexy right? I don’t always focus on what I’m lacking. I have good days and bad days just like everyone else. Most of the time I’m totally cool with who I am and where I am. I’ve overcome a lot of obstacles and poor choices, and I really do think I’m pretty solid all around because of these experiences. But I have a lot of days where I slip up and wish that I was a little smarter, or had chosen a different career when I have really bad days at work, or feel like I’m lacking in the looks department or whatever. This will also be a lifelong commitment because human nature is to see the good and the bad.
Also fuck my “do another comp” goal. I don’t think it’s healthy for me personally, I’m not willing to go to the extremes that are required for placing well and I can be hella competitive, and to be honest I used my one and only competition as a vessel to learn about my body and endurance and to find healthy alternatives for what I already do. I promise I will actually do a post about my experience competing and what my opinions are, and I’m not bashing anyone that does them because I actually admire the hell out of competitors. Some more than others, because despite the amount of people who do it unhealthily and harmfully to their bodies, a few of my role models do it in a happy and attainable and HEALTHY manner. Most don’t. Some do. Anyway, it’s just not for me at this time and point because it was expensive, time consuming, and I don’t wanna lol. I am grateful for my decision to do a competition in 2015 because it taught me so much about myself and my body, which was exactly what my intended purpose was. No regrets, just no desire to do it again now that I’ve thought back on it.
Last one I didn’t hit was to stop focusing on making and keeping everyone else happy, and to look out for number one. I am a people pleaser by nature when it comes to those close to me. In a perfect world, all the people I love would be so happy and healthy and successful and want for nothing ever, so I try to do what I can to make them happy. Sometimes it’s a peril to me and my own happiness. It ties into learning to compromise because sometimes I have to compromise what I instinctively want to do for the people I love in order to keep myself above water. It’s hard to train yourself to take care of you first and foremost, we’re conditioned to believe that self love and self preservation is in fact selfish. Quite the contrary. You’re better equipped to give love and help to those around you when you’ve loved and helped yourself first. How can you give someone fruit from an empty basket so to speak? You have to nurture your own happiness and contentment and peace with who you are deep down to your core, before you can fully accept and nurture and grow your love for someone else deep down to their core. I’m going to spend more time on things that make me happy this year, instead of putting it on the back burner to invest in someone else’s happiness as though mine should be an afterthought.
My NYE Resolutions for 2K17;
- Spend more time blogging and writing, use copious amounts of journals consistently
- Start saving for a house, figure out dream house checklist with Geoff
- STAY GAINFULLY EMPLOYED!!!
I am going to spend more time blogging. I get so lonely in my new city, Geoff’s listening skills are lacking at times so it can be a little disheartening when I don’t feel heard, and my friends and support system aside from two friends I’ve made in Campbell River are so far away and on another time zone that I think my best chance of being able to offload and feel less isolated is to blog. And to write in my journals. And again, maybe start vlogging. I talk A LOT and having a minimal amount of human beings to talk to is hard. Geoff can only pay attention to so much of what I say because I DON’T SHUT UP so I think it might be healthy for both of us if I use these things in as my outlet. Basically I’m an open book and need to get all the tangled thoughts out of my head for my own sense of enlightenment and therapy. So whoever reads this or chooses to follow my social media are stuck being my inadvertent support system 😉 .
Starting to save for a house is a big one because Geoff and I don’t want to work away forever. We both want a space to call ours, and it will be so nice to have a permanent home. And I don’t want to have to depend on making 120k or more a year to keep a roof over our heads when we would only get to spend 25% of our time there, so the more we have to put down, the lower our mortgage and the easier it will be to work jobs we want from home. #adulting
Stay gainfully employed. I think I wrote this one because of last year being my worst year financially ever. It’s hard to stay gainfully employed in the trades because you never know how long you’ll actually be on a project, or with a company. But I would like to maintain regular employment so I’m paying down debts consistently and can get savings set aside for a house asap and be able to live the life we both want.
This is long, as with all of my posts. I hope whoever reads this can either empathize, or maybe take inspiration, or just kill time during a smoke break or commercial lol. I think it’s good to have goals, and some people hate the “new year, new me” mentality but I like the thought of always worker towards a better version of yourself and maximizing your potential and happiness. And even if you like every facet of your life and yourself, each year you change so it’s still technically a goal to remain the same I think. I can smell the beef vindaloo Geoff is making for dinner, it’s actually my favourite meal that he cooks aside from his roast. A man who really knows how to capture and keep my heart, through my stomach hahaha. I’m gonna go top up my wine, eat some delicious food, and enjoy the feeling of contentment and purpose I get from releasing all my thoughts into written word. Happy two thousand and seventeen to everyone, may it be your best year to date. And keep in mind that even the shittiest years serve their purpose, sometimes you need to hit bottom to rekindle the fire you need to get where you want to be.
P.S. (Mama and I have always agreed that odd years are better than even years, the worst years of my life have statistically been even so proof is in the pudding. Therefore, we are STOKED about the year to come)