Ardy’s Essence

I just finished a midnight FaceTime with one of my best friends. Today was a tough day for her. Her mom has been battling aggressive cancer for 4 months now and passed this morning. It wasn’t unexpected and they’ve been preparing for it for a while now, but I don’t think that anyone can ever truly be ready for heartbreak like that regardless of seeing it coming from a distance or otherwise. My friend is the epitome of strength and endurance. She has been dealt a lot of shitty cards throughout her life, and like her mama, she has dealt with every single obstacle and unfortunate experience and traumatic situation with the grace I can only call “Ardy’s Essence.”

“Ardy’s Essence” is a rare mixture of optimism, pragmatism, realism and sass. It is the ability to find reasons for gratitude in a thankless and bleak situation. It is the ability to remain hopeful when everything seems doomed and irreparable. It is the ability to touch the lives of everyone around in a healing manner and provide wisdom and courage and love without judgement or an expectation of anything in return, when that healing is needed most internally by the giver. “Ardy’s Essence” is a feisty, fiery spunk that can never be dulled or diminished. It is living life with integrity and honour and loyalty. It is giving kindness where it hasn’t been earned, love where it isn’t deserved, and forgiveness when none is justified. It is the essence of everything good and just and beautiful in this world all bundled up into the tiny package of a human being. It is an essence I think this world could use so much more of. The absence of it in majority of the people on earth just adds to its value in the few who possess it.

As I was facetiming my friend, trying not to cry for her and her family, I was so humbled by her attitude. She told me her mama wouldn’t want me to be sad, and I explained that my tears were of empathy and a bit of a personal loss as well as the overwhelming feeling of gratitude that She and her loved ones were there to see Ardy off from this life into the next. The tears were for the fact that it was Ardy’s soul shining through her daughters eyes and actions, and for the fact that Ardy will never really be gone because she has created a being who embodies all of her finest qualities. She inherited “Ardy’s Essence”. I feel a fraction of the loss of Ardy because she had an impact on me the moment I met her. She was one of those peoole who you instantly feel at ease with. It could be eerie to experience her because she made you feel as though she was seeing right through to your soul. She was insightful and intuitive and highly spiritual. She did a couple tarot readings for me, and it was uncanny the predictions she made and the things she knew about me without having any possible way of prior knowledge. That was just who she was. Her smile was contagious, the same smile my beautiful friend wears to be exact. But just as quickly as she was to smile and laugh, she would call out bullshit. She had a strong moral compass that she remained in tune with until her last breath, and I’m sure she’ll continue to follow into her next chapter.

There is a fire burning for her for 4 days, in order to light her path into her next life. She was a strong advocate of her Micmac heritage, and she must have been so at ease as her loved ones honoured her in the traditional rituals today. She was bathed in cedar water for purification, although she was about as pure as you can get because she lived her life openly and honestly and faithfully. She was robed in a handmade linen and sent off with locks of hair from her loved ones. Native hair is extremely important to the culture and signifies much more than I know about, so out of respect for their heritage I won’t even begin to try to explain because I would make a mess of something so beautiful and so sacred to them. But my beautiful friend cut her hair for the first time in ages to send off with her mama, she was marked the matriarch of their family and she shouldered every responsibility with dignity and respect and class. She truly was “Ardy’s Essence” today.

Ardy has left a strong legacy behind through her loved ones, and I can only hope that they find strength from it on their weak days and find pleasure from it on their strong days. I hope that when they feel a shiver running down their backs, or a calming sense that they’re not alone, they know that it’s Ardy lending her light and love and courage to them when they need it. I know they will treasure every memory made, every lesson learned and every hilarious smart ass remark made by Ardy.

The fire leading Ardy into the next life won’t burn half as bright as her spirit, but I know that she’ll have no trouble using its light and creating a whole new legacy on her journey. She will always have her mark on this world, and no doubt leave some new ones wherever she winds up. Ardy’s Essence is timeless and ethereal and magnificent, and my beautiful friend is another wonderous example of a mothers love running deeper than anything the eye can see. Rest easily through your transition Ardy, and may you find peace and relief in the next life. You will be greatly missed, and every thought of you will bring the same peace your presence did in person.


Ps (Thank you to Ardy for creating such a stunning daughter who came into my life and brightened things up more than I could have dreamed. She’s beyond special and she’s got good peoples taking care of her now, which you know because you helped guide her to us or maybe guided us to her. Either way we know you’re still working your magic and we’ll keep doing you proud and making sure your daughter and granddaughter are well loved always ❤)

And so the adventure begins…

This is the excerpt for your very first post.

Dramatic beginning to my first post, but it’s the cover of the notebook I’ve been using to jot down my blog ideas and I’m at a loss for where I should start so it seems fitting.

I’ve toyed with the idea of having a blog for a couple years, realistically back when I started reading my ma’s blog. Her posts are always funny, informative and insightful. But I’m lazy, this whole setup was super time consuming considering the fact that I’m useless with technology and subsequently anything computer related, but I’m excited to finally have followed through on it. Time will tell whether or not I can follow in Mama’s footsteps and be consistent.

This is going to be an eclectic blog. I don’t have a particular niche, but I do have a ton of areas that interest me so this will be a compilation of sorts.

A little background on me, and where my musings will come from:

  • Born in Victoria, BC, spent the first several years of life in Calgary, AB, and have now been living in Halifax, NS for 21 years. It’s safe to say I’m a maritimer. *recently moved back to Victoria so now I’m the one with an accent around British Columbians. “Say ‘car’ again, say ‘bad’ again” lol, I find their dialect as amusing as they find mine 🙂  *
  • I’m a certified diesel mechanic, as well as an industrial mechanic/millwright. You’ll probably see more than a few posts pertaining to my career-or lack thereof as it seems to be more often than not. Being a woman in trades can spark a lot of conversation, and a post or two I imagine.
  • I’m a self proclaimed low-maintenance princess. That is, I love to shop, I love shoes and dresses and makeup, I am vigilant about my hair appointments (and my hair is forever changing, which will also be posted about I’m sure), and I know what I want and make sure I get it. Self sufficient, but I’m more than a handful I know 😉
  • I’m saucy and will probably have more than a few rants depending on what has irritated me that week. No apologies for it, just a warning.
  • I’ve been a gym goer for 10+ years on and off. Started off going to Dalpex to my ma’s classes (she’s been teaching for 15 years now I think?) and went to NuBody’s before their GoodLife takeover. I’ve been a GoodLife member for a few years now. When I worked in the oilfield (which I’m keeping fingers and toes crossed I’ll be returning to sooner than later) I woke up bright and early most days to hit the camp gym. It’s my form of prozac. I’m noticeably grouchy on days/weeks when I don’t go so I aim to make it there at least 4-5 days a week.
  • I. Love. Food. Literally love food.  I’m not particularly fussy so I eat just about everything. There will definitely be posts on my love of almost all things edible, recipes I’ve tried, dinner dates at new (and old) places, and just food stuffs in general. If you don’t love food, chances are we won’t be friends…
  • Occasionally I get crafty. I love painting, clay and have tried knitting which I may attempt again. My whole family is artistic so we all do different things. My brother is on his last year of university for his Bachelor of Fine Arts, my Mama has a masters in fine arts (I think? She’s got a ton of degrees, too smart for this cat) as well as a law degree and english degree (I think, lol maybe my listening skills aren’t as good as I thought). He paints and prints and draws, she knits and draws rarely, and I get odd cravings to paint or play with polymer clay every once in a while. I love crafts, I just don’t make enough time for it. It’s one of my resolutions actually.
  • This is getting long so I’ll add in the last of the factoids about me; lots of tattoos with no plans of stopping, I’ve had my motorcycle license for 5 years now, I love driving my bike and car more than just about anything in the world, I suck at being an adult, I need naps on the regular cause I’m addicted to sleep and also lazy, andddd I love reading. And travelling. I basically need to win the lottery or become a travel blogger haha.

So basically you’ll never really know what you’re getting coming on here cause there are so many things I love and hate and could talk forever about. Also fair warning, I have a potty mouth. I’ll try to keep it to a minimum but it’s gonna come out from time to time.

Cheers to cupcakes & crankshafts, two beautiful creations in my mind xo